WHATEVER!!! Oh that word is one of my favorites to say! But I don't think the way in which I say it is what Karen is conveying in the chapter.
This chapter most definitely spoke to me in so many ways. In the areas of my job and my home life. One of the things I kept thinking about during this chapter was how I've not been content with my current job. When I first started my full time job 6 years ago, I was very content. It was hard for me to get used to working longer hours after working part time for 8 years. And it was hard for me to get used to the people and my surroundings after working in the same place with great people for more than 8 years, but I was content. During my 6 years at my current job, I went through undergraduate and graduate school. I knew once I got my graduate degree I wanted to be able to get a job somewhere else in the area doing something with my degree that I paid so much money for. I've talked about this in a previous blog but I find it interesting how it keeps coming up in this study. So ever since I received my degree, I've waited for that break through dream job. And I've been waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting......................
I would apply for any library job I could just so I could get out from where I am and put that million dollar (not really) degree to use. But each time I applied I never got called and when I did get interviewed I didn't have enough experience (not much public library background, academic only). When I saw the library director position posted in the town I live in, I debated if I should even try it out. Well I did...knowing deep inside I probably shouldn't. What was I doing applying for a director position when I hadn't even been a librarian yet. But hey...I had the degree! So, I put my application in and a few days later on a Sunday evening I received a call asking for an interview. I was caught off guard especially since it was a Sunday evening and did they really look at my resume to see I didn't have much experience in a public library setting? That next day was the most stressful day of my life! I emailed people I knew who are library directors, asking them what all they do, what would I have to do, etc. I was researching different things that go along with running a small public library. And then just the fact that they have wanted to build a new library, how in the world can I envision this when I've never worked in a public library but only through my 3 month internship? I finally called my husband, thought I better do this since it would affect him too. So for a half hour we discussed all the pros and cons to a job I didn't even have yet and I realized then that God didn't want me to apply for that job. He wants me to be content where I am. Content--"to be satisfied to the point where I am no longer disturbed or disquieted." (pg 191)
When I finally decided what I was going to do and I made the call to withdraw from the applicant pool, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. My mind was calm, my heart was calm, my whole self was calm. There are so many things I'd like to quote from this chapter but it is far too many. But here are a few I liked the most...
Pg 192-193 :
"Learn to be thankful in the midst of your unique whatever rather than trying to control something you were never meant to control in the first place."
"God is more concerned with your attitude and your obedience in the role in which he has presently cast you than he is about giving you a starring role in life."
"It's our job to obey God today, in our current lot in life. It's God's job to grow our careers or our families or our home businesses---If he wishes."
When I read those lines, I was stunned and amazed once again at the power of God. He has put things into my life lately that have shown me to be content in whatever circumstances. I know that one day my dream job will come along, whether it is in the library field or in something else, God has my life planned out for me...I just need to listen, obey, and trust!
Monday, March 11, 2013
Friday, March 1, 2013
Calm, Peaceful, Serenity...
Who doesn't want to go back and change how things happened with a situation? Who doesn't want to change something before it even starts?? Call me a person who wants to fix and change everyone! I came to grips with this a couple of years ago when a friend of mine was making some really poor choices in the men department. It bothered me so much that I ended our friendship. I just couldn't take it anymore! She wasn't listening to a word I said...was it going through one ear and out the other?? I thought for my own well-being I needed to let go of the friendship or get myself some help. We didn't talk for months and we work together. We've been friends for 16 years. After months of not speaking to one another, she called me up one day and asked if we could talk. And talk we did, for 3 hours. She admitted that I was right in much of what I was trying to tell her all this time, but she just didn't want to hear the truth. I apologized to her for being controlling and trying to "make" her see my point of view. In the end, we both agreed that even though it was hard we both needed the break from each other in order to learn a few things. Our friendship is wonderful now and she's doing so great in her life, even joined my church almost 2 years ago and is dating a nice Christian guy (whom I've known since he was little) from our church.
That was definitely a lesson in life for me to stop trying to control the outcome of everything. I still voice my opinion or concerns but then I try with all my might and with God's strength to let it go. I'm currently dealing with another friend who is making the same mistakes my other friend once did. Today, I voiced my thoughts to her and now I let it go. I'm giving her to God and going to let Him take care of her and whatever is going on in her head.
Is letting go of this easy for me, heavens no! But I'm certainly working on it. On pg 163 I love the quote that Karen mentions from Mary Southerland, "Trusting God demands that we learn to fix our gaze on him and our glance on our circumstances." Whether with my own personal life or even a friends, I must trust the outcome that God already has in store. I continually pray to Him to guide me and walk with me through this. I cannot begin to say how much I have LOVED this book!!!
That was definitely a lesson in life for me to stop trying to control the outcome of everything. I still voice my opinion or concerns but then I try with all my might and with God's strength to let it go. I'm currently dealing with another friend who is making the same mistakes my other friend once did. Today, I voiced my thoughts to her and now I let it go. I'm giving her to God and going to let Him take care of her and whatever is going on in her head.
Is letting go of this easy for me, heavens no! But I'm certainly working on it. On pg 163 I love the quote that Karen mentions from Mary Southerland, "Trusting God demands that we learn to fix our gaze on him and our glance on our circumstances." Whether with my own personal life or even a friends, I must trust the outcome that God already has in store. I continually pray to Him to guide me and walk with me through this. I cannot begin to say how much I have LOVED this book!!!
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Domestic Diva
She watches over the activities of her household ~ Proverbs 31:27 HCSB
This has been especially hard for me. I definitely take charge and probably could say I go over board on taking charge but that is because no one else takes the initiative to do it. My oldest son Zach and I have always been the ones to maintain household duties and while he's away at college it all falls on my shoulders. I have tried on numerous occasions to get my son Eric, who is almost 13, to participate in household duties. It's a battle I get tired of trying to win...so inevitably I end up doing it all myself. I've thought lately how I lost the joy in watching over the activities of my home because I'm the only one sharing in the activities. I should say that my husband does do some things and my youngest, if prodded, does things too. Just not as I would like, so here again I need to release the need for control. I want there to be joy in watching the over the activities of my home. I used to relish in doing housework every weekend, tending to a garden, planting flowers...somewhere along the way that joy has been zapped from existing. I don't need to do everything but I should put joy in the things I am doing right now...and then maybe take everything else one day at a time.
This has been especially hard for me. I definitely take charge and probably could say I go over board on taking charge but that is because no one else takes the initiative to do it. My oldest son Zach and I have always been the ones to maintain household duties and while he's away at college it all falls on my shoulders. I have tried on numerous occasions to get my son Eric, who is almost 13, to participate in household duties. It's a battle I get tired of trying to win...so inevitably I end up doing it all myself. I've thought lately how I lost the joy in watching over the activities of my home because I'm the only one sharing in the activities. I should say that my husband does do some things and my youngest, if prodded, does things too. Just not as I would like, so here again I need to release the need for control. I want there to be joy in watching the over the activities of my home. I used to relish in doing housework every weekend, tending to a garden, planting flowers...somewhere along the way that joy has been zapped from existing. I don't need to do everything but I should put joy in the things I am doing right now...and then maybe take everything else one day at a time.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Stand by Your Man
"A virtuous and worthy wife [earnest and strong in character] is a crowning joy to her husband, but she who makes him ashamed is as rottenness in his bones." Proverbs 12:4 (AMP)
Of course when I see the phrase, Stand by Your Man, I think of the Patsy Cline song...although I cannot ever remember the rest of the words. I'd like to think I've stood by my man since we met in 1995. I mean we've been through a great deal together over the course of nearly 18 years. One that stands out the most to me and has been the driving force to our support to one another is when my husband John got a DUI back in October 2003, just 2 days before his 40th birthday. Most people would look at something like that with absolute dread. We looked at it as a way to change things for the better, sure it was rough to deal with but we chose to make a negative a positive. At this point we had been married for 5 years.
When we met, John drank quite a bit and I was merely a social drinker. Did it bother me that he drank, no not really, but over time it began to bother me that whenever we went out he had to get wasted and I was the one left being responsible. Leading up to his DUI, I had really been struggling with my marriage. I wasn't happy with where things were heading. (I should note that my husband was never abusive to me). A month before the DUI, John had been at a friend's house drinking. He was supposed to meet me and our boys at my friend's house for a birthday party but never showed. I called his friend's house and spoke to his friend's wife, she didn't know where John was and didn't even know he had left. I went home waiting for him to walk through the doors, praying he'd walk through the doors. As I stood there thinking the worst, I thought I cannot do this anymore, he has to make a change. When he thankfully arrived home he was wasted, I don't even know how he drove himself home. The next day I told him that something had to change, that we couldn't go on like this anymore and if it didn't stop soon, I was going to leave.
A month later, I had been planning a surprise 40th birthday party for him. I was excited, yet apprehensive about it. He always took the week of his birthday off so that he could enjoy it and get some fishing in. That same week I happened to get very sick with viral meningitis. I worked part time and was still somehow getting to work and taking care of my 11 year old and 3 year old sons. Then one day he went out fishing by himself in the morning and then later in the day went to see an old high school friend. I had only heard from him once that day and that was to tell me he was going to see Curt. Around 1030pm I called Curt's wife and asked if she had seen John, she said no but that Curt was passed out on their front porch. I hung up with her and prayed to God. I asked God to keep John safe, I said I'd take a DUI if it meant my husband changing for the better. I went to sleep and woke up a few seconds before the phone rang with a collect call from a jail in a nearby county. I woke the kids up and drove 20 miles to go get him. I didn't say a word to him when he got in the car, I just drove us all home and went to bed. That next morning, I laid in bed thinking of what I was going to say to him when I heard him sobbing on the phone to his mom in our kitchen. I knew then I didn't need to say word. Days later when we went to court to see what was going to happen, we read the police report and were astonished and amazed that he was even still alive. He was driving down the wrong side of the interstate, nearly hit a cop head on, he then drove through the grassy median to the other side of the interstate at a rate of 100mph and nearly clipped a semi trailer. The Lord surely had his hand on my husband that evening, along with the cop and any other motorists. That event, God opened my husband's eyes!!
That was almost 10 years ago. This October my husband John will be 10 years sober. For 5 years we had to spend lots of money on attorney fees, fees for bi-monthly readings on the BAIID unit that was attached to the ignition in his truck, fees for work permits, gas, car repairs, the list goes on and on. During that time, I had to drive my husband to and from work which was a 45 min drive one way. That time was a gift from God! We got to know each other all over again. It drew us closer together, drew him closer to our boys and drew him closer to God. It was a struggle but I stood by him. I couldn't leave now, God was answering my prayers. We endured a lot but through all that God re-shaped our lives and saved our marriage.
While some of the 5 dance steps are difficult to get through, I am willing to work through them to keep my marriage alive. Are there days that it is really tough? YES!!!! But I know with God's help and our commitment to each other we can get through the adversities!
Of course when I see the phrase, Stand by Your Man, I think of the Patsy Cline song...although I cannot ever remember the rest of the words. I'd like to think I've stood by my man since we met in 1995. I mean we've been through a great deal together over the course of nearly 18 years. One that stands out the most to me and has been the driving force to our support to one another is when my husband John got a DUI back in October 2003, just 2 days before his 40th birthday. Most people would look at something like that with absolute dread. We looked at it as a way to change things for the better, sure it was rough to deal with but we chose to make a negative a positive. At this point we had been married for 5 years.
When we met, John drank quite a bit and I was merely a social drinker. Did it bother me that he drank, no not really, but over time it began to bother me that whenever we went out he had to get wasted and I was the one left being responsible. Leading up to his DUI, I had really been struggling with my marriage. I wasn't happy with where things were heading. (I should note that my husband was never abusive to me). A month before the DUI, John had been at a friend's house drinking. He was supposed to meet me and our boys at my friend's house for a birthday party but never showed. I called his friend's house and spoke to his friend's wife, she didn't know where John was and didn't even know he had left. I went home waiting for him to walk through the doors, praying he'd walk through the doors. As I stood there thinking the worst, I thought I cannot do this anymore, he has to make a change. When he thankfully arrived home he was wasted, I don't even know how he drove himself home. The next day I told him that something had to change, that we couldn't go on like this anymore and if it didn't stop soon, I was going to leave.
A month later, I had been planning a surprise 40th birthday party for him. I was excited, yet apprehensive about it. He always took the week of his birthday off so that he could enjoy it and get some fishing in. That same week I happened to get very sick with viral meningitis. I worked part time and was still somehow getting to work and taking care of my 11 year old and 3 year old sons. Then one day he went out fishing by himself in the morning and then later in the day went to see an old high school friend. I had only heard from him once that day and that was to tell me he was going to see Curt. Around 1030pm I called Curt's wife and asked if she had seen John, she said no but that Curt was passed out on their front porch. I hung up with her and prayed to God. I asked God to keep John safe, I said I'd take a DUI if it meant my husband changing for the better. I went to sleep and woke up a few seconds before the phone rang with a collect call from a jail in a nearby county. I woke the kids up and drove 20 miles to go get him. I didn't say a word to him when he got in the car, I just drove us all home and went to bed. That next morning, I laid in bed thinking of what I was going to say to him when I heard him sobbing on the phone to his mom in our kitchen. I knew then I didn't need to say word. Days later when we went to court to see what was going to happen, we read the police report and were astonished and amazed that he was even still alive. He was driving down the wrong side of the interstate, nearly hit a cop head on, he then drove through the grassy median to the other side of the interstate at a rate of 100mph and nearly clipped a semi trailer. The Lord surely had his hand on my husband that evening, along with the cop and any other motorists. That event, God opened my husband's eyes!!
That was almost 10 years ago. This October my husband John will be 10 years sober. For 5 years we had to spend lots of money on attorney fees, fees for bi-monthly readings on the BAIID unit that was attached to the ignition in his truck, fees for work permits, gas, car repairs, the list goes on and on. During that time, I had to drive my husband to and from work which was a 45 min drive one way. That time was a gift from God! We got to know each other all over again. It drew us closer together, drew him closer to our boys and drew him closer to God. It was a struggle but I stood by him. I couldn't leave now, God was answering my prayers. We endured a lot but through all that God re-shaped our lives and saved our marriage.
While some of the 5 dance steps are difficult to get through, I am willing to work through them to keep my marriage alive. Are there days that it is really tough? YES!!!! But I know with God's help and our commitment to each other we can get through the adversities!
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Whatever, Wired and Shiny
WHAT-EVER
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." Colossians 3:23
Praying to God each morning asking Him to help me remember He is the One in charge, He is the reason I am at my job, and while I need to be obedient to my employer, I ultimately work for God. I need and should give it my all.
Make it a habit to recognize when I am starting to not let God lead and control.
Learn-by-heart this verse!!!
WiReD
Hi, my name is Karlene and I have a tendency to control. I'm a soft-spoken martyr and people pleaser. But I have hope and so do you! What I hope to get out of this study is just recognizing when I am heading toward the control tower and then just letting God direct. While I know that I don't just sit idly by and not do anything, but allow myself a more freedom in not having to control everything that comes my way. I hope this study can give me that peace!
Ooo! Shiny!
I do not yet have the book in hand to be able to read Chapter 2. I will do my best to answer this question. I feel the need to control my husband and my soon to be 13 year old son. My husband has things that he does that drive me crazy that I just wish he'd fix, but since he won't I will surely try. Yeah I'm failing miserably at that. My 12 year old son, he's not just like my 21 year old, so I've tried to control his behavior to the point of driving myself crazy. Days have been spent in absolute frustration on both of these guys in my life. I know I can't control them and that I need to let God work in them, but I have this overpowering need of trying to fix them.
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." Colossians 3:23
Praying to God each morning asking Him to help me remember He is the One in charge, He is the reason I am at my job, and while I need to be obedient to my employer, I ultimately work for God. I need and should give it my all.
Make it a habit to recognize when I am starting to not let God lead and control.
Learn-by-heart this verse!!!
WiReD
Hi, my name is Karlene and I have a tendency to control. I'm a soft-spoken martyr and people pleaser. But I have hope and so do you! What I hope to get out of this study is just recognizing when I am heading toward the control tower and then just letting God direct. While I know that I don't just sit idly by and not do anything, but allow myself a more freedom in not having to control everything that comes my way. I hope this study can give me that peace!
Ooo! Shiny!
I do not yet have the book in hand to be able to read Chapter 2. I will do my best to answer this question. I feel the need to control my husband and my soon to be 13 year old son. My husband has things that he does that drive me crazy that I just wish he'd fix, but since he won't I will surely try. Yeah I'm failing miserably at that. My 12 year old son, he's not just like my 21 year old, so I've tried to control his behavior to the point of driving myself crazy. Days have been spent in absolute frustration on both of these guys in my life. I know I can't control them and that I need to let God work in them, but I have this overpowering need of trying to fix them.
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