What-EVER

WHATEVER!!! Oh that word is one of my favorites to say! But I don't think the way in which I say it is what Karen is conveying in the chapter. 

This chapter most definitely spoke to me in so many ways. In the areas of my job and my home life. One of the things I kept thinking about during this chapter was how I've not been content with my current job. When I first started my full time job 6 years ago, I was very content. It was hard for me to get used to working longer hours after working part time for 8 years. And it was hard for me to get used to the people and my surroundings after working in the same place with great people for more than 8 years, but I was content. During my 6 years at my current job, I went through undergraduate and graduate school. I knew once I got my graduate degree I wanted to be able to get a job somewhere else in the area doing something with my degree that I paid so much money for. I've talked about this in a previous blog but I find it interesting how it keeps coming up in this study. So ever since I received my degree, I've waited for that break through dream job. And I've been waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting......................

I would apply for any library job I could just so I could get out from where I am and put that million dollar (not really) degree to use. But each time I applied I never got called and when I did get interviewed I didn't have enough experience (not much public library background, academic only). When I saw the library director position posted in the town I live in, I debated if I should even try it out. Well I did...knowing deep inside I probably shouldn't. What was I doing applying for a director position when I hadn't even been a librarian yet. But hey...I had the degree! So, I put my application in and a few days later on a Sunday evening I received a call asking for an interview. I was caught off guard especially since it was a Sunday evening and did they really look at my resume to see I didn't have much experience in a public library setting? That next day was the most stressful day of my life! I emailed people I knew who are library directors, asking them what all they do, what would I have to do, etc. I was researching different things that go along with running a small public library. And then just the fact that they have wanted to build a new library, how in the world can I envision this when I've never worked in a public library but only through my 3 month internship? I finally called my husband, thought I better do this since it would affect him too. So for a half hour we discussed all the pros and cons to a job I didn't even have yet and I realized then that God didn't want me to apply for that job. He wants me to be content where I am. Content--"to be satisfied to the point where I am no longer disturbed or disquieted." (pg 191) 

When I finally decided what I was going to do and I made the call to withdraw from the applicant pool, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. My mind was calm, my heart was calm, my whole self was calm. There are so many things I'd like to quote from this chapter but it is far too many. But here are a few I liked the most...

Pg 192-193 :
"Learn to be thankful in the midst of your unique whatever rather than trying to control something you were never meant to control in the first place." 

"God is more concerned with your attitude and your obedience in the role in which he has presently cast you than he is about giving you a starring role in life." 

"It's our job to obey God today, in our current lot in life. It's God's job to grow our careers or our families or our home businesses---If he wishes."

When I read those lines, I was stunned and amazed once again at the power of God. He has put things into my life lately that have shown me to be content in whatever circumstances. I know that one day my dream job will come along, whether it is in the library field or in something else, God has my life planned out for me...I just need to listen, obey, and trust!

Calm, Peaceful, Serenity...

Who doesn't want to go back and change how things happened with a situation? Who doesn't want to change something before it even starts?? Call me a person who wants to fix and change everyone! I came to grips with this a couple of years ago when a friend of mine was making some really poor choices in the men department. It bothered me so much that I ended our friendship. I just couldn't take it anymore! She wasn't listening to a word I said...was it going through one ear and out the other?? I thought for my own well-being I needed to let go of the friendship or get myself some help. We didn't talk for months and we work together. We've been friends for 16 years. After months of not speaking to one another, she called me up one day and asked if we could talk. And talk we did, for 3 hours. She admitted that I was right in much of what I was trying to tell her all this time, but she just didn't want to hear the truth. I apologized to her for being controlling and trying to "make" her see my point of view. In the end, we both agreed that even though it was hard we both needed the break from each other in order to learn a few things. Our friendship is wonderful now and she's doing so great in her life, even joined my church almost 2 years ago and is dating a nice Christian guy (whom I've known since he was little) from our church.

That was definitely a lesson in life for me to stop trying to control the outcome of everything. I still voice my opinion or concerns but then I try with all my might and with God's strength to let it go. I'm currently dealing with another friend who is making the same mistakes my other friend once did. Today, I voiced my thoughts to her and now I let it go. I'm giving her to God and going to let Him take care of her and whatever is going on in her head.

Is letting go of this easy for me, heavens no! But I'm certainly working on it. On pg 163 I love the quote that Karen mentions from Mary Southerland, "Trusting God demands that we learn to fix our gaze on him and our glance on our circumstances." Whether with my own personal life or even a friends, I must trust the outcome that God already has in store. I continually pray to Him to guide me and walk with me through this. I cannot begin to say how much I have LOVED this book!!!