Who doesn't want to go back and change how things happened with a situation? Who doesn't want to change something before it even starts?? Call me a person who wants to fix and change everyone! I came to grips with this a couple of years ago when a friend of mine was making some really poor choices in the men department. It bothered me so much that I ended our friendship. I just couldn't take it anymore! She wasn't listening to a word I said...was it going through one ear and out the other?? I thought for my own well-being I needed to let go of the friendship or get myself some help. We didn't talk for months and we work together. We've been friends for 16 years. After months of not speaking to one another, she called me up one day and asked if we could talk. And talk we did, for 3 hours. She admitted that I was right in much of what I was trying to tell her all this time, but she just didn't want to hear the truth. I apologized to her for being controlling and trying to "make" her see my point of view. In the end, we both agreed that even though it was hard we both needed the break from each other in order to learn a few things. Our friendship is wonderful now and she's doing so great in her life, even joined my church almost 2 years ago and is dating a nice Christian guy (whom I've known since he was little) from our church.
That was definitely a lesson in life for me to stop trying to control the outcome of everything. I still voice my opinion or concerns but then I try with all my might and with God's strength to let it go. I'm currently dealing with another friend who is making the same mistakes my other friend once did. Today, I voiced my thoughts to her and now I let it go. I'm giving her to God and going to let Him take care of her and whatever is going on in her head.
Is letting go of this easy for me, heavens no! But I'm certainly working on it. On pg 163 I love the quote that Karen mentions from Mary Southerland, "Trusting God demands that we learn to fix our gaze on him and our glance on our circumstances." Whether with my own personal life or even a friends, I must trust the outcome that God already has in store. I continually pray to Him to guide me and walk with me through this. I cannot begin to say how much I have LOVED this book!!!
I sure know how you feel. I too have friends and family who I'd like to keep from making poor life choices. However, it seems like if I do voice my opinions they become that much more determined to do things their way. It is hard, but we have to take them to God in prayer and just leave it there. I'm so happy for you that you're getting better at this. I'm doing better at shutting up, but on the inside I steam! lol
ReplyDeleteI loved that God is teaching you through OBS.
Barbara Prince
OBS small group leader
I really enjoyed your story about your friendship. It spoke to me about my relationship with my sister. Sometimes we do need to step back from a relationship in order to determine where it really fits in our life. How beautiful that both you and your friend were able to see your need for one another, and reestablish a friendship that has grown and evolved and meets the needs of both of you.
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